I'm not supposed..

Why do I start thinking again. I wasn't supposed too. cause when I do, I'm not moving. I get sad which I'm not supposed to feel during my final weeks. Felt devastated of living it this way. and when people ask. it's painful to let a word slip. don't even know was it me, or was it something else. I'm not gonna blame anyone. trust me. basically it is just me and my head mixing everything up and got lost not finding a way back. I smile, yes I do. but then it hurts. pointless to even point someone else. nothing changes anyway. not in the meantime I predicted.

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