Random I guess?



I think my head always kinda have amazing things going around but not so good when it comes to expressing it in a good structured way. either literally nor verbally. but yes i tried to, and only after trying so hard- a piece of writing is all I got. so yes I'm more to literal than verbal.

kadang-kadang kan this feeling of not able to express verbally kinda make me say things like this on my head:
-kan bagus kalau dia boleh baca fikiran aku.
-kan bagus kalau dia boleh nampak how my fantasy works like in here "brain".
(I always thought ridiculously)

yet of course I only wish for this at certain occurrences in my life. takdelah sampai boleh baca semua benda every second. bahaya. tapi kan on a quick reminder, my lecturer once said that "fantasy does not make reality on its own" jadi kita lah yang kena turns it into reality, who else's will? right?

actually dah of topics.

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come again, I had amazing thing on head, but not good at expressing it in a good structured way.

therefore, the real deal when I try to blogged my mind (things on my head) out here, I tend to type it one second and delete it the next second. this my dear reader, quite tell you what kind of person I actually am.

well let me make it clear for you (incase you're questioning them but if its not then it'll be totally fine by me, i'm a nobody tho).

truth is...
I am the kind of person who says a lot of stuff, like unnecessary stuff to people mostly those who are closed to me and after doing so, I regret.

I am the kind of person who hold things back, get mad after holding it for too long, and regret my action one minutes after sambil either shivering or crying.

I am the kind of person who can cry out of sadness and laugh at the same time. been through a lot in this journey.

yes, I get so many regrets in life. but that is just how people are. imperfect.

but that doesn't mean I'm proud of it. never am. despite what I've done, I do spend a lot of time to undo things. even though deep down I know, we cannot undo things. the only matter we are capable of as human being is fixing things. and I'm slow at fixing "snail slow". I tried anyway.









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