summing up 2nd year of degree

Second year of degree,

are just full of surprises and unpredictable. could it be unique, haha? well its a half and half experiences, which started at main campus and ended at branch campus.

Was the center point of my studies. it went well but it goes pretty much hell, not that I'm trying to exaggerate. but it really describes everything. In my third semester, I flunk my programming subject. this semester I don't know how many are gonna shows up but I really am nervous just thinking about it.

I admit I'm not really serious on certain subjects but come on. I work hard this semester compared to last semester. I'm not blindly studying anymore, I starting to understand what I study. well yes literally. the further you go the tougher it gets. I get it. but still, I work hard. maybe not extremely hard, but harder than my previous semester if you get what I mean. I'm not trying to put up with any excuses for me to feel better in case anything bad happens later. its just that I know how many effort I already put for this semester.

later when I got my results, I have to prepare my bravery. why? cause I may flunks. not flunk but flunks. not trying to be negatives. but what is in my head was everything that I already figured. so I'm gonna have to be strong, even I know I'm not "that" strong. well I can still pretend (lying to yourself again) got to get rid of this one.

nevertheless, this semester is over. thankfully. I don't wanna comment about next semester. It gonna fuels a fire. I can tell. I hope I survive and excel. really? you really think of excelling? your pointer are already below ground. well, I really don't care. I know how I am with works. even my studies are kinda sucks. but there's no such things with working. I love working. I love gaining experiences on real life work, something I rarely found during my studies.

I know employers tend to be fond looking at pointers. but really I had a wide spectrum about results and pointers and it does not fit all the time. In real life you fight for so many real things, pointer is one of it but there are so many other things too. depends on your luck, your skills most importantly but whatever it is it return to this one thing called "sustenance" from Allah.

not that I'm trying to degrade the power of pointers and results. because I know people are gonna question it. also, not that I'm trying to made myself comfortable by saying all those things because I know I'm failing a lot. but I'm looking from some other angle, where my pointers come as a challenge for me in the future but not to lose hope because there are so many other factors that I can fight for regardless pointer.

I still am gonna fight for my pointers to go back stable again, though I know there's only two semester left and it ain't gonna go up skyrocket. but at least I need to try to worked on it, don't wanna let my parents down, got to show good examples to sisters and so on. but later, whatever is fated for me, I accept it with an open heart. you can't go against it anyway.


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