Syawal 2014

assalamualaikum,

it is month of syawal. honestly, raya tahun ni I wasn't all excited like the previous year. why? perhaps because I think too much, tak ada apa yang pelik with it since aku memang jenis yang suka memikir. emi cakap aku macam orang tua regardless he was the one yang lagi tua. okay, that doesn't matter actually. mood aku pun jenis yang boleh berubah in a flip second. kejap mood baik gila, kejap tantrum, kejap sedih, macam honestly tak tetap langsung benda macam tu.

well, when mama told that this year kita akan balik kampung and I goes flustered. is it? I can't conclude whether its flustered or fluttered, I guess they both mixed up becoming one. which I really don't like the idea. I was actually thinking of many excuses that I could give so that I don't have to follow them balik kampung. I wasn't in the mood. however of course my attempt of doing so, tettttttt, basically failed.

memang silap lah kalau mama nak lepaskan aku duduk sorang-sorang kat rumah walaupun the fact that I am already 21. I mean 21 is like adult enough but still mama won't let her daughter to be left alone kat rumah. so in the end aku follow balik kampung. It wasn't all that bad but boleh tahan lah. family comes first no matter what. I'm still grateful I can still cherish all of this with my family. only that bila makin besar, all about raya aren't really as exciting as before. which makes me think far ahead of how I can't wait to have my own family and built my own tradition and gives the best to my family. It was all a very nice dream I was hoping for.

oh yeah balik je dari kampung I felt relieved. nothing compared to your own house and your own bed of course. I rest enough for one day that the next day all of my colleagues sibuk whatsapp about going to our friends houses. I don't take part in the conversation cause I really hate planning it and goes all excited and then have to felt kinda suck when I couldn't make it in the end. so this time I decided to stay still and just watch them planned everything. and at the very end of the day I was happy cause I made it to their house. I even have some of my friends coming on the very day where I don't really planned for it.

It happen so fast. everything is just moving to fast. that sometimes I even felt something is wrong. that it shouldn't happen this way. but everything just settled that way. so I accepted it with an open heart.

anyway, Selamat hari raya, maaf dipinta andai ada kekurangan dan kesilapan dalam sedar dan tidak. sejujurnya aku cuma manusia biasa and I have always say that to myself. aku cuma insan biasa :)

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